True Forgiveness Through Prayer

  

Forgiveness is one of the most liberating decision that one can ever make. However, it is a difficult process to make because it involves one to delve into the painful past, face deepest hurts, and handle all the negative and strong emotions that will come about.  For other people, forgiving is a struggle perhaps because they only tend to see the offence that was done to them and this consequently stirs up their anger.   Forgiveness is something that may take years to unfold for some, but I believe that with the power of prayer, one is easily liberated from the grip of anger and healed from one’s wounds.

To truly forgive, here are some steps to undertake:

1)        Allow your anger to surface. Acknowledge it. Feel it and its intensity but express it in a nonviolent way.  

2)      Ask yourself why are you angry and what causes you to have such a strong emotion.

3)      Bring your anger into prayer. Talk to God.  It is only Our Lord who truly understands what you are going through. Express everything that you want God to know. Ask the Lord to help you heal and forgive.

4)      Be mindful of the duration of your anger.  If your anger has not been resolved for the longest time, then it becomes unhealthy for you physically, emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually.  Begin now to make a firm decision to understand its roots and commit to let go of it once processed. If you cannot do it alone, going to a counselor/therapist will help you with this matter.

5)      If you have difficulty with letting go of anger, constantly speak with Our Lord about it. Put your trust and reliance on Him. Believe that He will help you to let go of it and forgive.

6)      Learn to wait patiently for God to respond and just keep praying.  

7)      Ask the Saints like St. Maria Goretti and Blessed Laura Vicuna to intercede for you.  Pray to them for the grace to forgive the person who hurt you with your heart and for his/her conversion.

8)       Bless the person/s who offended you and wish him/her well. Despite the anger, pray that God will be gracious to him/her.

9)      Think of our Lord when He was crucified. He prayed for those people who persecuted Him and forgave them.

10)    Put yourself into the shoes of the person who hurt you. Justify the wrong he/she had committed. Ask yourself a question like, “What made this person hurt me?”

11)     Tell yourself that you cannot undo the past but you can do something to change how things will end.

12)    Always remember that God is merciful and so you should also be merciful.

13)  Imagine that you are together with the person who hurt you in heaven. Remember, heaven is a place where people were able to forgive.

14)    Don’t forget to thank God after receiving the gift of healing and forgiveness.

Above all, forgive from your heart and not just with your mind. Do not force yourself to forgive if you still have an unsettled anger. True forgiveness will follow if you have gone through intensive processing of your hurtful memory and unexpressed anger but most importantly, if you totally and strongly trust that God will heal and help you to forgive.